- Monday, November 29, 2004 / 3:01 am.
My whirlwind 3 offdays has ended offically. Its sadding to realise that in 11hrs, i will be back in the office. Time really flies.
In the 3 days, I meet up with a old friend whom came back frm Aus, Hang out with gracie, rented VCDs, went shopping and bought a dress & makeup, played mahjong, visited my grandma in hospital twice, had lunch with M, went for a bbq/chalet, did my medi/pedi, had my hair treatment & attended a wedding dinner. Oh yeah, n had a chillout session on all 3 nights. Power to think i did all thoes in 3 days... sounds a lot rite? but actually its quite little only... Haiz.. I think my life is becoming a bore, i really do. Its all bout partying, working, slacking at home, hanging out etc. I keep feeling that its repeating n repeating, i need to find a new interest. Can someone tell me what's new that i can try out???
Going for my clubbing session this wed again, care to join me anyone??
- Friday, November 26, 2004 / 12:36 am.
I'm hating my job more n more, not because of the job nature. I don't hate the Job Nature, or what the job is about. WHAT SUCKS MOST IS THE WORKING TIME!!! BLARDY 6PM TO 11PM. DAMM IT! NO MATTER HOW MUCH I LOVE THE JOB, OR HOW HIGH THE PAY, THIS BLARDY TIMING IS KILLING MY LIFE!!! I WAN MY LIFE BACK!!!
Because of this job, i no longer can meet my friends, or shd i say, my friends tend to leave me out of gatherings, because they know, asking me, i won't be able to make it. Because of this job, i cannot spend time with my family, with my grandma. Because of this job, I'm left out when my mom travels, cuz even taking leave is subjected to balloting or if there's avaliable slots. Because of this job, I can no longer watch my fav TV programs. Because of this job, I have not seen or talked to my dad in 2weeks although he lives in the same house as me. Because of this job, I lost my ability to wake up early or the luxury of sleeping early. MOST OF ALL, BECAUSE OF THIS BLARDY JOB, I LOST MY SOCIAL LIFE.
Yes, i know, u gain some you lose some. Now i know why CTB pays a high pay. Cuz u have to give up your social life. Do u know how miserable it feels when you find out that your friends meet up for a gathering and you are not informed?? How sad it makes me feel? Or shd i quote Jolyn: 'Low Moral'!! YES, IT TOTALLY SUCKS!!! I HAVE NO LIFE!!! Think back, even if it was just a gathering out for coffee, I wld be there, now, when something important comes up, I can't even be there. I'm freaking sad, u know. Its a no wonder that i start thinking that i'm starting to get distant frm my friends. No matter how much i hear 'don't think too much; no lah, u are just being too paraniod; etc.' It doesn't help, Action Speaks Louder Than Words.
I'm sick, I'm tired. I'm feeling left out. I donno anything anymore... I hate making choices!!
- Tuesday, November 23, 2004 / 4:03 am.
The problem with not loggin online for 1 week, u have hell of a lot of things to check up & do after that. I was suppose to log off an hour ago aft saying gd nite to po, N now, what am i doing? adding another blog. I'm freaking out of my mind, my back is aching already n I will only be able to have 6.5hrs of sleep & i'm still not gg to bed. I'm Mad. Period.
- / 2:20 am.
What i've mentioned on my previous blog? Erase my complain. I've become one of those that disappeared. For a Week!! My busy busy busy life. Damm... Anyway, its time for updates.
This is my latest acqusition.
Aimed at it for 2weeks & i finally got it at $34 bucks, frm this shoppin cart along the citylink mall. I've curbed my impuse buying!! haa... actually no lah, cuz i was more rational in my spending nowadays, with the exception on my laziness - thus taking more cabs - i've spent lesser on clothes & bags & cds. But the spending on groceries still remains, as well as spend on food, haiz.. one i've yet to curb my spending on.
But i'm seriously at the pt of getting broke at the rate i'm gg, ESP CUZ ITS YEAR END!! Xmas shoppin, Bday Prez, n the all impt: My mama's BDAY PREZ. That plays a huge part of me getting broke!! I forked out $800 for my mama's LV bag. Blardy bag, of all LV bag patterns, my mom has to love one of the few patterns that i simply will NOT use until i really become an auntie, costed a freaking $3199, lucky my dad paid for the rest, or else ah i'm dead. My dad said thats all he's getting for my mom tis yr, shared a prez with me, cuz he's complaining that my mama doesn't work liao, she spends too much, blah blah.. oh, n i think my dad is still partly sore, haven recovered with my mom's recent 'adventure' on her supp creditcdt. I only have 1 comment on that issue: Guys, be aware when u supp a cd to ur wife, pissed them off, u not only get a good scolding n headache, ur pocket will suffer a big hole too. Though i sympathize with my dad, but he also asked for it lah... Adults issue, i'm not gonna get into it.
Anyway, my work life has become seriously tough already. Mentoring is involved cuz of poly interns. N plus gotta handle the products. Top it off, new product launch last friday: Dividend Cd. Had a bloody long briefing for that launch, n had shitty lotsa calls bout it, i'm repeating until i can seriously rattle off in my sleep already. This mth til date had a record number of briefings man... Working life ain't easy. I'm looking forward to X'mas Lunch!! good food & relaxation... *smuck* hee...
End of the year, lotsa spending going on. TROUBLE TROUBLE, WALLET TORTURE!! Oh yeah, n i gotta start thinking of my New Year Resolution.
To top off my stress: I've decided to stop lookin for a change in job. It seems i will not be able to look for a job that will be satisfactory, good colleagues & most importantly, a salary that can match my current one. For a recent poly graduate, i'm commanding a salary that i don't think any of mates have, so i give up. Haiz, what i give up for money. But now i have a decision on hand to renew my contract for a higher pay, but on the other hand, this new contract timing will really means giving up my freedom. 5 day work week, but on shift schedule, n offdays are mostly not on weekends!! Meanin that i havta work shifts that are like 9am-6pm, 2pm-11pm, 4pm-12pm, 5pm-1am, 6pm-2am & 11pm-8.30am. Graveyard shifts. Damm... though they are 8hr shifts, with the advantage of routating offdays, but there is extensions involved w/o extra pay, but it will be like an increase in mthly pay of $200 as a whole. Worth it??
Another matter, someone is back, at the worse possible time, WTH. My stress issues... its getting complicated.
- Saturday, November 13, 2004 / 6:52 pm.
Hmm... Been checking out my friend's blogs n realise that more and majority of them are starting to blog less.. what's happening??
My life has been so upside down that i no longer have the free time like that i used to. Its so sadding that i no longer am able to meet up with my friends like i can cuz i finish work at 11pm everyday. Its not a life that one can tahhan for long though, i'm starting to get tired of it already, it really is low moral for me when my friends meet up w/o me. Though i know i have colleagues whom are close to me, but still, they can't make up for the buddies that have been there for me for so long. I'm sad.
Life now is work, club & mahjong. There really isn't much for me to do nowadays. The person i miss is not in s'pore. *sobx* SAD!!!
- Wednesday, November 10, 2004 / 3:46 am.
Freakin Bored & i can't sleep!! tis is like my 3rd blog in the same nite!! What the hell am i doing man... ok, since i can't sleep.. got nothing else better to do.. guess what i did? took some blardy quizes... Here goes:
"Who is your famous soul mate? (For Girls)"
Eminem
Wow! Your Ideal guy is Eminem!! The bad boy of music, everyone thinks he is tough, but not you. You know on the inside, he's sensitive, and you're lucky enough that he shares that with you.
"what type of boy do you like?"
boy nextdoor
your kind is the boy nextdoor he is mr. perfect and is very sweet and romantic
"which country do you belong in"
Ireland
I love IRELAND and so should you - you should even live there. With the accents and hotties why wouldnt you. I would spend time thinking about the people and the culture though then all the pubs - think about it.
"What tattoo should you have?"
upside down cross
You are an upside down cross, and you are either antichrist religiously or you are merely against the idea of God. Becasue he's a cocky bastard.
"What Disney Princess Are You?"
Ariel
You can swim, flip, dive and be one with fish...WHY DO YOU WANT MORE?
"What type of attitude problem do you have? (pics)"
Your Scary
Your probably goth (good for you). But this also makes most of the things you say creepy to others. Your probably trying to be mean but your slighty twisted so you end up scaring people. But who cares they still go away which is what you wanted. Try creeping people out by saying....
i don't believe tis one though....
"What Harry Potter Character Are You?"
Albus Dumbledore
You are Albus Dumbledoe.The headmaster of Hogwarts. well respected and extreamly intellagent ,Yet you have a crazy side.
"Which famous actress are you?"
Drew Barrymore
PARTY HARD, BABY! I'm Drew Barrymore!
"What kind of chocolate are you?"
White chocolate
You are white chocolate!
OK, i've posted enough weird things... I don't believe half of the stuff here though... But some are quite nice!!! Gee...
- / 3:31 am.
Take the quiz: "What does your birth month reveal about you?"
June
Thinks far with vision. i do??? haa... yeah, perhaps i do...
Easily influenced by kindness. tis sounds highly likely though... gee...
Polite and soft-spoken. Are u joking? me?? No way...
Having lots of ideas. Eh.. depends on what kinda ideas lah...
Sensitive. HA!
Active mind. Totally....
Hesitating, tends to delay. So true, so so true!! i doubt bout hesitating though, but delay, totally yes!
Choosy and always wants the best. Bloody true!!
Temperamental. Yes, i admit i am...
Funny and humorous. Moi??? u kidding? u mean i'm funny??? haa.. thats a joke!
Loves to joke. To play a joke... yes..
Good debating skills. But of course!!
Talkative. Ah bo, why do think my job is a Citiphone Officer?
Daydreamer. Yeah, daydream bout being rich!
Friendly. 100%
Knows how to make friends. 110%
Abiding. No... i'm not!
Able to show character. 150%
Easilyhurt. bah!! no way! i gotta be strong!
Prone to getting colds. since when??
Loves to dress up. Of course, who doesn't like to be pretty??
Easily bored. Likely, depending on the company...
Fussy. Yes, thats why i'm me...
Seldom shows emotions. most of the time...
Takes time to recover when hurt. Duh! i'm human...
Brand conscious. 75% of the time... LV... gee..
Executive. Yeah! classy!
Stubborn. Of course i am, or else how can i be a successful me?
Think the above is totally me babes?? Looks like 85% is on the dot though... *grinz*
- / 2:43 am.
i finally solved the 'bug' in my com! all by myself! i'm so proud of myself. *grinz* Hey, i'm really quite a computer idiot, when i have any problems with my com, i just whip out my phone & call jiahui!! she's always my saviour in my IT problems... *mucks*
Relationships are funny u know, whenever we always say we shdn't have friends just for making use for, but come to think bout it, friends do make use of one another. Like just these past days, me n my buddy have been waiting for each other aft work, so that we cld share cab. Reason: both of us wan to spend lesser by sharing cab, arn't we making use of each other in this way. Or like when i need my friend for a favour, i wld just make an excuse to sms smthing like: 'hey, how ya been? long time nv heard frm ya... blah blah blah', then aft a couple of 'social' sms, i wld make known my reason for the sms. Yeah, it isn't nice of me, but hey! at least i ask aft some socialising, not like an immediate sms n demand a favour! i do get a couple of sms/phone calls from time to time asking of favours too.. So what goes ard comes ard huh... So from now on, I will not feel guilty for asking ppl for favours (of course, i know my limit), but instead, when asking for favours, i will put it across in a tatical way! At the same time, i won't reject favours if its within my means. (since when do i reject huh? oh yeah... when i'm in a bad mood...*grinz*
Oh! n today is a totally happy day for me!! I found a junior!! Junior as in was frm the same sec n poly as me!! She is 2yrs younger than me, currently in NP doing BFS too!! Gosh!! I have someone whom is like following the exact same path as me. N know what? I wasn't the one that pointed out she looked familer, instead she just asked me! When i asked her how come she recongnise me? Guess what she said? She remembered me frm the yearbook! Babes! hear this, apparently, we are quite well-known in the lower sec!! all the old sckool gossips are coming out!! It seems cuz our batch was like the largest, she said that all the lower sec ppl looked up to us a lot! She can even tell me that my class had quite a handsome malay guy: Mus!! Haa... to think she still rem til tis date, freaking cool! Oh yeah, n she mentioned tis yr will be 'Dilbah Singh' last yr as SRS Principal.. n Thina Karan is gone already!!! Haa... i gotta dig out more stuff frm her.. So fun, n she's like my mentee too, cuz i gotta help coach the poly-interns. So Kool!! haa... I'm mad, my colleagues think so too... cuz today i was so proud n happy that i've found a 'si-mei' that i went round telling everyone!! Haa... *wacked out*
- Saturday, November 06, 2004 / 3:44 pm.
Ok, something is seriously wrong with my com again. Haiz nvm bout that...
This whole week, i've been gg thru many ups & downs, finally, i think i'm back to my normal self. My anger & negative thoughts have been shelf aside & i pray that they will never reappear. I know that some of ya must have been wondering what happened to me? Why do i feel this way? I'm fine my dear friends, I really am, don't think too much into what i had blogged previously, I was just being hot-tempered then, but its been put aside.
But anger aside, I am going through a rough patch of my life now. I'm seriously torn, in another way and i have 5 days frm now to make an important decision that will affect my life, a decision that is very heart-wrenching, and it all lies on myself. WHICH UNI SHOULD I CHOOSE???? The trouble with me was that, i went to apply for like 4 unis, and now, i got accepted into all 4 unis with all giving me first choice: Bachelor of International Business!!! I had acceptance into Uni of New South Wales, Uni of Queensland, Uni of South Australia & Griffith Uni. Placing aside Griffith Uni (cuz rep doesn't seem good, plus that uni's life is too tempting, looks like more play than study cuz campus is in Gold Coast, which spells danger for me whom already likes to party more than study) and placing aside Uni of New South Wales as well (cuz its in Sydney, too many china ppl frm what i'm told, plus living expenses higher cuz its a well known city), I've narrowed the field down to UQ & UniSA. Now this is where the headache starts.
I was contempalating if i shd go for the Feb05 semester of July05 semester a while ago, cuz thing is, when i had registered, i choose Feb05, w/o considering then of CNY to spend with my family & friends, N of course the most important event of my life (til then) MY 21st BIRTHDAY!! I havta spend it away frm the family & friends whom have been there for me!!! ARG!! But my contempalation(donno if tis word exsist..haa..) was too late, cuz the acceptance ltrs came already by then. Putting my regret of the decision aside, I now havta choose if i wan UQ or UniSA.
If i choose UniSA, i wld be saving on accomodation & transportation, cuz my i can live with Aunt Regina in Adelaide & plus, use her spare car. Plus with my Aunt ard, i know i have a 'safe guard' and i think mama & papa will be less worried for me, esp with Aunt Regina being my strictest Aunt according to daddy. It will be saving cost i agree, but on the other hand, in the first place, i choose to go o/seas to study because i wanted independence, if i choose UniSA, it wld only mean living with a different relative, i won't be getting that much of an independence, since Aunt Regina is like strict! Another pt to look at is that UniSA isn't that reputable either, although it had offered me a extremly tempting program whereby my last semester i have a choice of exchange study, where i cld choose a uni in the US, UK or Canada to finish my last semester in 2006. Hmm.... Pros & Cons.
As for UQ, ahh... tis a reputable Uni, no doubt bout it. Plus, Tam-tam will be heading there too in Feb05, another plus! But here, i think i will be gg alone, cuz Sham doesn't wan UQ.. how???? Its in Queensland, the course of study is good, that i know, plus the course electives are interesting, like Events Mgmt, Personal Wealth Mgmt, Hospitality & Tourism... but how... ARG!!! I havta look for my own accomodation, n i doubt mama will get me a car there though... As for tuition fees wise, it is bout AUD3K more than UniSA though... but still, for its reputation, worth it? I have friends in Queens, but then, they arn't the friends i am close too... more like the 'hi-bye' kinda friends...
HEADACHE! HEADACHE! DECISION! DECISION!
I seriously need help in this part, but my mom, don't know anything bout it, when i ask her, she was like, up to u lor, wherever u wan also can... ARG!!! Plus my mom isn't in s'pore now, she went holidaying with her friends again, donno when she will be back though, as for daddy, he's freaking busy tis time of the year, don't even have a chance to speak to him sia... Godma's not ard either, she is on holiday with mama, as for uncle sunny & aunt beatrice, they are like away in london and their both their daugthers are so bust with work!!! ... arg!! all my decision-help makers are not ard!! not free!!
5days, 5days countdown....
- Tuesday, November 02, 2004 / 3:11 pm.
Aft a good nite's rest & a chat with my buddy, i'm feeling much better... think i left off steam the best way with talking to someone... sharing one's view or talking it out is the best way.
I'm happy cuz i'm gg clubbing with my darling citibabes tmr... & tis time round, my kahkees are all in! gee... gonna enjoy myself to the max, then have bah ku teh for supper.. gee... all again.. GRACIE!! i missed our clubbing days... hope ur exams end soon!!
bel's place... my darling citibabes... gee.. 'Si-jie', ur hse very nice!!
- Monday, November 01, 2004 / 1:20 am.
I'm feeling quite torn up between my feelings at tis point of time, its getting very hard to define where my loyalty lies currently. I know they have been there for me for years, my companions & confidents, but being in their company nowadays, i donno... its getting to be a weird feeling, hard to describe. I love them, i truely do, but in many ways, each of them to me are very different. I know its bad for me to say tis, but although i really do love them all, but i do have 'favourisim' towards a few, but the 'favourisim' isn't the same with each, there is a difference in that too. But its human nature not to like hearing bout things that u don't like i guess. N i think its in my nature that once someone starts to hit my sore point, as much as i know i have that sore point, i will start to shy away frm that person...i think in a certain way i don't really like it when ppl say 'i know u' or when ppl think they know me well, cuz they don't. I'm every constantly changing. I cld be able to accept it back then doesn't mean i can accept it now.
Its hard to say, n although tis is my blog where i can rant, it isn't a private & personal blog. So i won't name names. For ppl who are reading tis entry of mine, don't assume that its u whom i'm talking about, n with regards to tis blog, don't ask me about it. Thats all i ask. I just wanna be me. Here is where i state: I can be selfish, I'm getting short-tempered. I'm sick n tired of giving in & giving in, Do not assume that i'm always ok with it, I am not the person i was then, I'm changing.
Yes, I'm torn & pissed. At what, at whom. I won't say, but i'm beginning to ponder on what human relationships really mean.