- Monday, November 01, 2004 / 1:20 am.
I'm feeling quite torn up between my feelings at tis point of time, its getting very hard to define where my loyalty lies currently. I know they have been there for me for years, my companions & confidents, but being in their company nowadays, i donno... its getting to be a weird feeling, hard to describe. I love them, i truely do, but in many ways, each of them to me are very different. I know its bad for me to say tis, but although i really do love them all, but i do have 'favourisim' towards a few, but the 'favourisim' isn't the same with each, there is a difference in that too. But its human nature not to like hearing bout things that u don't like i guess. N i think its in my nature that once someone starts to hit my sore point, as much as i know i have that sore point, i will start to shy away frm that person...i think in a certain way i don't really like it when ppl say 'i know u' or when ppl think they know me well, cuz they don't. I'm every constantly changing. I cld be able to accept it back then doesn't mean i can accept it now.
Its hard to say, n although tis is my blog where i can rant, it isn't a private & personal blog. So i won't name names. For ppl who are reading tis entry of mine, don't assume that its u whom i'm talking about, n with regards to tis blog, don't ask me about it. Thats all i ask. I just wanna be me. Here is where i state: I can be selfish, I'm getting short-tempered. I'm sick n tired of giving in & giving in, Do not assume that i'm always ok with it, I am not the person i was then, I'm changing.
Yes, I'm torn & pissed. At what, at whom. I won't say, but i'm beginning to ponder on what human relationships really mean.