- Friday, December 31, 2004 / 6:22 pm.
2004, what a year to remember. So so much has happened in tis year that i don't know where to start. Here are my reflections on my ups n downs through tis year.
My 3yrs of poly life ended tis yr. In my getting my diploma, i've embarked onto a working life. I think aft 7mths of work, do i realise why many had advised me to enjoy studying when i can. Though i had the ease of carryin on with my part-time job full time now, the difference is great. Now i've have more responsibilities, but i do realised that i can't work tis job forever, its not my 'calling'. I can't say i've been there long, but almost 2yrs is enough hint. Despite the job scope, I've met the most wonderful bunch of ppl there. My darling sweeties, citibabes. Ever since being a perm staff, i've bonded with them in ways that i nv knew. Through our clubbing sessions, our makan suppers, movie gatherings, team bonds, lunches... so many that i don't know where to begin. They're a precious lot to me, very very close to my heart. I will miss them dearly when i leave for my studies. "Once a shifter, Always a shifter".
My family, the lost of my grandma tis mth has brought my family closer, though we are still healing, we learn to look forth, instead of looking back. But tis chinese new year gathering will be to celebrate my grandma's life. I've learnt to grow up quickly tis yr, esp through the lost of my grandma. A few weeks ago, aft her death, i start to think that i don't wanna get myself hurt again, that i shd shy myself away frm those who are close so as to not break up when tragedy strikes. But a talked with a close friend told me that, the more i shd learn to treasure others, to get to know them better, to celebrate each day & be thankful that i known tis person. By caring more & loving more, I'm fufilling myself. Many thanks to Jo for telling me all these, she is a darling who has been there for me. In the few short mths since we've met, I've bonded so much with her.
Lastly, within my grp of buddies, our life continues to become more and more episodes of 'the kindered sprit'. So so much happened tis yr to so many within my grp of buddies that its hard to know where to begin. I've grown closer to all of them, thats to sum it up. Putting all our ups n downs & stories into words will be equal to writing a biography. No words can express how much i'm glad that ya'll are here. I love all of ya'll regardless of what happens, ya'll always be my sisters & buddies.
Reflection on 2004 will include the latest earthquake that happened. What a way to end the yr, in tragedy. My heart goes out to all those affected. I thank God for protecting my family, esp my friends & family in Penang, N i pray that God keep them safe. I'm still praying that a miracle will happen, to help all the victims of tis tusamni, n i'm still hoping that Bel is safe. So much tragedy has struck the world these few yrs, n tis yr, Asia was the most affect. Makes me wonder if the world will ever be safe again....
Tis is my last entry of 2004. Til 2005 then.....
- Monday, December 27, 2004 / 7:54 am.
Its been a long long time since i've last blogged. Many things have happened over these past few weeks that changed my perpective of life. A lost of a close one is the most prominent. I've lost my grandma.
My grandma has always been part of my life since i was born, livin with her means that i have a daily interaction with her. She has been there for me since as long as i've know. The lost of a close one is something that is hard to come to terms with, I've seen my family break down, esp my aunts whom i'm so close with, it ain't easy being strong, but that was what my couz told me to do. I havta be strong for the rest. During then, I was breakin down inside, but i had to be strong on the outside for my family. It was extremly difficult, esp for someone like me who wears my feelings on my shoulders. Those 5 days were tough, but through it, I saw my family bond. The ties that bind us are stronger.
My grandma has a greatness in her that many don't get to see, no matter what, she never liked to burden anyone. Even in death, she don't like to make things difficult, it was as if she planned it, so that it doesn't makes things difficult for us, or else who can explain the conincidence that all our family members cld find the time to be there?? By her bedside b4 she left?? I will never forget the time, when i was there alone beside her by the hospital bed, holding her hand, keeping her company, she mumbled something in hokkien, at which i cldn't understand then as it was quite muffled. Then do i realised aftwards, that what she meant was that she wanted to go home, she wans to leave.
I've broken down inside, but thoes wounds have to be kept hidden, for the sake of my aunts & parents, i havta keep it to myself. The guilt that i felt for not spending enough time with her, esp these past few years since my life has gotten busy. The lost that i feel, when i look at her chair and realise that she will no longer be coming back. The pain that pierce through, when i look at her bed and think back. These are things that no one can help heal, I think that no matter how old or where i go, these memories will always bring tears to me. Even as now, tears running down as i type tis, i turn and look at my grandma's chair, i see her fan, her smelling oil, her fav clock that sits by, I have tis feeling that if i look hard enough, I can see her there, in her usual seat, seating there, smiling at me and swinging her legs.
This is a chapter of my life that i'm closing, only the memories will stay.
- Tuesday, December 07, 2004 / 3:07 am.
Life is unpredictable. I got a hit of the meaning today. A course mate/intern friend/ex-colleague of mine, Linda had passed away on sat nite. If any of ya'll had saw the monday nite chinese newspapers, u wld have seen an article on a girl in her 20s riding a 500cc bike that had an accident.
I'm in shock, i don't know how to react. I didnt wan to believe that its real. She just came back to the office 2weeks ago n she was suppose to meet up with a few of my colleagues for steamboat this wed, yet this happen. Why, Why is it so unfair. Its all in fate, if she wld have went to zoukout, this wld not have happen. How can a gal so bright, with so many aspirations be gone like this? It isn't fair, it really isn't. I'm still shock, i really am. When i learnt of the tragedy this morning, i was shocked. It didn't sink it, until i went into office and saw my boss who just came back frm visiting the wake. She put her arm ard my shoulder and said 'she looked peaceful.' That was when i started tearing, I cldn't speak to customers, I had to walk away. All ard, my senior colleagues came to talk to me, she was from my batch, we went in training together as interns and she only left the company for another 2mths ago. 2MTHS!!! Life is really unpredictable, no other words can say it.
Going to the wake with a heavy heart, seeing her body there, I almost cldn't take it, i walked away with Jo, tears welling up. The accident is tragic. I'm still in shock. Linda is gone.
This is an article frm CNA:
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Singaporean woman motorcylist dies in Johor crash
JOHOR BAHARU, Malaysia : A Singaporean woman died after she lost control of her high-powered motorcycle and crashed into the metal divider at KM23.1 of the Second Link on Saturday night.
Johor Baharu (North) Traffic Police head Chief Inspector Bakri Zainal Abidin said Linda Wee, in her 20s, who worked at a factory in the republic, died on the way to the Kulai Hospital, Bernama news agency reported.
Wee, from Bukit Merah in Singapore, was riding her motorcycle towards Kulai to meet her boyfriend when the accident occurred.
She fell after hitting the divider and was dragged about 200m by the motorcycle, he told Bernama.
She sustained serious body injuries and broke her right arm in the 11.30pm accident.
Chief Inspector Bakri said the victim's family had claimed her body. - CNA
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The above article had quite a no of errors though, she did not went to meet her boyfriend, she went in with a group friends, all riding bikes to meet their m'sia friends. It was not because she cldn't handle her bike, it was because the road is not smooth, as most malaysia roads are, the roads are bumpy and not lit. Linda has always been a careful biker, that i'm sure.
Its tragic, life is...... i donno how to put it....
- Sunday, December 05, 2004 / 4:32 am.
December mth, a time for lotsa craziness... I'm so looking forward to all the gatherings for my buddies' bdays... what a wonderful mth ahead. Hee.. Getting bit emo here cuz i went looking thru my photobook just now, reflectin on all the laughter that we had.
Come to think of it, no matter how long the period of time was before we met up, or how short, or if we meet up consecutively for 3days in a row, we will always have fun! Never was there a failed gathering, it will always be laughter heard everytime we meet. This is how relationships between friends are, how it shd be, and how it will remain to be. I love this feeling, I love knowing that we'll always be there no matter what, I love knowing that thru so many ups & downs, fights & arguments, troubles & mishaps, we are still together, still strong. Though we complain bout one another bad habits etc, we still love each other as friends love one another, I know that if one day shd I need help, you all are just a phone call away. Its always wonderful to pick up the phone and dial either one's no to catch up aft so long. *smilez* ITS ALL SO LOVELY.
Sometimes ya know, i can hardly believe the life i'm living, the friends i've found, I count myself extremly lucky, to have found a wonderful bunch of buddies who love me for me. That is already a blessing that needs no disguise. No one can have a perfect life, but mine's close enough to that in my eyes.
I love ya'll: Gracie, Po, Chris, Lav, Weiling, Valen, Mimi. You babes are the sisters that i didn't had when i was born, but i've found along the way. As for my buddies: Glenn, PeiPei, Kh, Jolyn, Pauline, Jiahui, Sheam. You guys are as close to me as friends can be, ppl that i've met as friends, but become my buddies.
Thank you to everyone whom made my life this wonderful, to everyone that was and is part of my life. *mucks* Enjoy this last mth of 2004! God Bless all & Party on!
- Friday, December 03, 2004 / 3:38 am.
I'm sneezing, sneezing and sneezing, either i'm having a flu or someone's cursing me real bad. ARG!!!!
I have to make a decision real soon, set my life straight, I hate making hard decisions, it pains you in one way or another, decision like this doesn't help, why can't my life be easier? why does it have to be so tough? AAAARRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGG!!!! I'm drowning quite badly and no one can help me but myself. Blardy Blardy ****.
Oh yeah, n these are some photos frm my colleagues wedding. I'm feeling old, attending these kinda events w/o my parents, actually i think this is like the 5th function i've attended that has nothing to do with my parents or family connections, its getting to be more independent.
bride & groom
1/4 of citibabes
us and the bosses
guess who are the lady bosses??