Its sadding to be working on a sat esp til like 12am!! I'm sad, but what to do? Haiz, anyway i've only bout a mth or so more to go. I'm angry too, cuz 'someone' don't wanna confirm for me my 2nd off & allow me to change shift! grr..

On the other hand, i'm feeling excited too, cuz its bout another mth or so more til my 21st!! In the end, i've decided to hold it at a chalet the weekend before, BUT i wanna go club on my birthday day itself!! Haa.. Clubbin, that is one thing that i nv get sick of. Gee.. i wanna go more before i go aus. I wanna bring my girlies to dbl o on thur! Girlies, can we??

My mama's leaving for Penang tonite, haiz, its me n my daddy again. *sad*

So many feelings in me at the same time. Weird... Haa...

Lastly, they've finally posted Faith's bday pics. click here Its on the 21st April. 1st 3 pics, haa.. i like the pics.. Think Faith is currently having fun at BBK..



Aft some short hours of sleep, i'm back to uploading songs into my Zen. Haa.. Cannot resist. Fallen asleep in front of his laptop last nite, woke up tis morning and i'm back to it again.. Hee..

I'm blardy late already, but what the heck.. Hmm.. wonder if i'm able to persuade him to come pick me up... *grinz*

You scored as Satanism. Your beliefs most closely resemble those of Satanism! Before you scream, do a bit of research on it. To be a Satanist, you don't actually have to believe in Satan. Satanism generally focuses upon the spiritual advancement of the self, rather than upon submission to a deity or a set of moral codes. Do some research if you immediately think of the satanic cult stereotype. Your beliefs may also resemble those of earth-based religions such as paganism. Satanism 83% Buddhism 79% agnosticism 79% Paganism 67% Judaism 58% Christianity 58% Hinduism 50% Islam 46% atheism 21% Which religion is the right one for you? (new version) created with QuizFarm.com

haa... is it true? I am?? Hmm..





I got my Zen Micro in white. All thanks to lovely dovely, sweetie cutie LAVERNE!!! *MUCKS*MUCKS* love it so much... Laverne so nice, bring down to my office to pass to me.. *mucks* for you lav!!! I've been playing with it ever since i got it a few hrs ago. Haa.. alvin, quin & roy are startin to find me an irritant already.. gee.. Imagine me dancing ard the office.. i really siao already. Lav, thank u so much for d/loading songs for me, Hip-Hop too.. u really know me well babe!! Can u believe getting a Zen will make me so happy!!! i can't wait to plug in and start downloading.. *evil laugh*.. Another 3hrs more...



I'm considering to get a car in aussie. shd i? its really cheap in aus, i can get a Ford Fiesta for only $17000. I'm really wondering if i shd...



a·loneness n.

Synonyms: alone, lonely, lonesome, solitary
These adjectives describe lack of companionship. Alone emphasizes being apart from others but does not necessarily imply unhappiness: “I am never less alone, than when I am alone” (James Howell). Lonely often connotes painful awareness of being alone: “‘No doubt they are dead,’ she thought, and felt... sadder and... lonelier for the thought” (Ouida). Lonesome emphasizes a plaintive desire for companionship: “You must keep up your spirits, mother, and not be lonesome because I'm not at home” (Charles Dickens). Solitary often stresses physical isolation that is self-imposed: I thoroughly enjoyed my solitary dinner.

Ever felt that way in a room full of ppl? Ever felt that when someone in the grp is talking, she/he is not bothering to make eye-contact with you, thus making u feel as if u are of no importance to him/her? Ever felt that u seem to be important to him/her only when he/her cannot find others, thus making u feel like a subsitute? Ever felt like u were being used and cannot fit in? Ever felt like u were left hanging there?

I know i have.

73 more days to Brisbane....



I've got feedback that my blog is giving problems sometimes and i finally realised that its due to the webmusic. Sooooo i've taken it off.

Met up with my girlies finally over the weekend, with the exception of Gracie though cuz she's mugging for her exams. Its been hell long since i've last saw her.. eh.. so long until i can't really remember when. Thats long rite?? I sure hope i can see meet up with her soon though, somehow or another, she's always been my 'brick wall' in a way.

I'm finally glad that we've managed to sit down and discuss on our travel trip, there was a period of time i thought that it will not happen, but now it seems that its gonna happen. I'm praying that we can get good deals for Koh Samui. I really wanna go there, cuz i heard good reviews bout the place. But actually, as long as all 8 of us are together, no matter where, we'll have fun, of course, better choice as Po said its best not to be a shopping destination. All of us are too prone on implusive and being major shoppers. hee.. confessions of being a 20-going-on-21 girlie..

I've finally found time tis afternoon before work to catch up with my newspaper reading n the article of the Best Employers 2005, made me realise that logistics companies seems to be a common toppers, hmm.. shd i look for work in UPS in the future? But the top of the list is Four Seasons, encouraging rite? I'm gonna make it a pt to check out whose on the Best Employers list yearly, keep a lookout for myself... hee... Plus that article on working o/seas really intriged me too, it looks good ah, and aussie is on the list of countries on demand for foriegn employees too, goodies for me..

Its another 74 days til Brisbane....



Its FRIDAY!!! but yet its the start of my work week. Haa.. weird rite? Haiz, thats the life of a shifter. Its sad, but a reality.

Went dbl o yest nite as it was Darling Faith's 21st Birthday. Wah.. had to shout over the music to sing her the Happy Birthday song, damm not easy neh. N 'Queen for the Day' still req for chinese version too. It wasn't that easy to do, but we made it, haa.. the whole group of us shouting over, not singin ah. BUT!!! for the 1st time, I went club, and left the place like 1.30am to go eat bah ku teh. Faith drank a bit too much already, but still was pretty funny, cuz she ended up shouting quite loudly inside and outside of dbl o 'lim ba ai jiae tau ke!'. Though i wasn't that keen on leaving so early, but haiz, its more impt to make sure she's alright. I didn't drink much though, actually, it shd be i didn't drink enough to feel anything at all!!! grrr... The nite didn't end there, the grp of us still check into hotel and play truth or dare. Gee.. but i left early cuz i had to work today, plus i wasn't even suppose to go, cuz i was locked out!!

Haiz, its back to work, but i'm ending soon!! gee.. gg to meet my girlies.. YEAH!! finally... hee...

HAPPY 21ST BIRTHDAY FAITH!! STAY CHIO ALWAYS!



I'm in love with tis one! It has all the features that i wan now! I wan tis one, no matter what, I'm gonna get tis one!



Hee.. *hint* anyone wanna get it for me... haa.. *thick-skinned*



Why do i suddenly feel as if my life is all about work? I haven seen my girlies in such a long while already and to meet up with them ain't easy as well. I think of all, the person that i see the most often is Chris. As for the rest of the girls, haiz, i can't even rem when was the last time we all together. Every since we graduated frm sec sch, it has been a task to mantain the closeness that we have. Although, i'm always thankful for that, and deep down i know how i stand with my girlies, but i naturally just feel sad not being able to meet them all together.

I know why tis happens, but i just feel sad bout it. I'm counting down to the day i will be leaving for Aus. I guess i would have to wait til my bday to see us all there together. Hopefully they all will be able to make it. Its another 78 days til i'll be leaving. Know how fast that is???

Its really a low moral period for me now. Whats even more sad it that i as sad as i am now, cuz of all that has happened, i don't have the time to take a breather and have to continue with the facade at work. Its tiring to put on a mask and be happy on the outside, but in the inside, i know i'm slowly breaking down. It may sound a bit exaggerated, but i am in a way.

My life has become all work, though i'm always thankful for having my colleagues and 'darlings' ard, there's still a part of me that misses the old life that we had. We've all growed up, we've all are living our own lifes, from the looks of it, it will take effort to maintain our closeness. Why do i think so? Don't ask, its a gut feeling.



I cried myself to sleep last nite. Why do i put myself through such torture? Why is it that i know talking to him again will turn to be a hearbreak for me and yet i do so. Why am i so dumb?



I'm stressed, i'm drained, i'm tired, i'm everything one is when under pressure. My god, u really cannot imagine how much things had changed in the office enviroment since 2mths before. Besides the usual stuff that i gotta keep up with, i now havta watch productivity, watch the handle time for each call, meet customers needs plus meet my target. My 2yrs in tis bank, i've never felt tis highly pressured before. I seriously need to de-stress soon. Help!!

As if work life isn't bad enough, i still gotta handle planning my to be going studies to Aus in July. Got so much things to do, i really hardly have time to take a breather. Its been ages since i went for my facial liao. Jialat, so many pimples pop.

TIS IS STRESS!!!



I'm dead. Can't sleep and i havta wake up for my 9am shift tmr. How can i tune my body clock back? Its hell hard to do so sia. Damm.



Haiz, club plans were cnx for tonite. Cuz of Team bonding tmr. *Sad*

But then again, its all good too, cuz i spent a lot of $$ shopping yest. Made an order at Gucci for their large Tote bag. Been aiming at it for a while already, but it will only come in like 1mth ltr. I hope that by the time the bag comes in, it still is on my top shopping list. *wink*

Actually, i really did accomplished a lot done yest. Finished work at 8.30am yest, managed to reach home & slept for 4hrs before heading out again. Had my skin appointment at 4.30pm at taka, and guess what. My skin 'broke', fungus infection, i'm on medication for the next 2weeks, before having to go back to the doc to start my freckles skincare. Mother complained too much bout it for as long as i can rem, i finally gave in. What to do, she's my Mom, she knows whats best for me. Next, headed to Bras Bahsa Complex to see my optiction, it was time to get my contacts. Decided to have some fun, so got some coloured contacts, hee.. been bout a yr since i wore coloured ones.. haa.. gonna shock some ppl soon.. Look out! hee.Following on, i met juan to head down to Chinatown. Went to my mama's friend shop to get perfumes. By god! I really did bout a lot sia. Bout up to $420 for 7 large bottles of perfume. Cheap huh? hee...if ya wanna get any let me know okie? I can get it much cheaper than DFS. Just an example, i got the large Issey Miyaki 100ml for only $90. hee.. Then, we headed down to a friend's shop to meet Dawn n Chong for dinner, went for usual Tei-ing. Before i finally headed down Suntec K-box to meet my Jie n rest for KTV session. We stayed til 3am sia, i really sing until i headed back to the 80s. Haa.. What a off day.

Last note. WHAT IS AMERICAN PPL THINKING???? NADIA TURNER OUT?? MY GOD!! She's loads loads loads better than that Scott. He shd be out sia. Damm it. She's my FAV!!



I'm on my night shift again and i'm bored!

Anyway, I got a feeling i'm dead for tis week, i've over booked myself already. JiaLat!

Gotta see skin doctor tmr in the evening. EXPENSIVE!! Cuz its expensive doctor sia. Haiz..how? I'm gonna go broke tis way sia... I've decided already, my birthday most likely will hold Chalet again. Or else anyone can sugguest other plans? I'm outta ideas already.



How do u find out if someone's lying to you just to get something? He told me he's staying with a relative, had an argument at home. But then again, when he called me the no indicates that he's calling frm home. What's gg on? I actually was worried for him a bit when he told me. But then again, aft talking to him today, i think that everything seems to be fine. Hrummmm, I really do ponder...



Its been a week since i started on Herbalife. I have no idea if my weight is gg down though. But i know that for the past week, i've only eaten rice once and noodles trice. The rest of the time i'm either having BK chicken salad or the Juice shake. haa.. Its weird though, at home, i don't get hungry that easily, but come to work, my stomach will start growling. For today i drank shake for 'lunch', took salad for dinner and I'm breaking my diet by having supper at 2am ltr. Die Die Die. But its Nana's bday, if i fly aeroplane, she will sure kill me one. Haa...

Anyway, tis will be a Happy week for me. I've packed my schedule so full of stuff that i don't think i have time to sleep. Good for me cuz like that i won't be eating that much and losing more weight. Haa...

Back to work neh...



I'm counting down the mins to the end of my shift. I'm seriously BORED outta my mind. There's work stuff to do but i'm lazy.. haa, Normal for me. Gee... 15mins more!!



I'm in LOVE!! Look at these pieces...















Hint Hint!! My bday's in 2mths time... Haa... *thick-skinned*



yeah!! I'm going clubbing again on Thur. I'm happy that Faith has now graduated and that she can go club with me and Jo already!! Happy Happy Happy!!

Somehow I think that compared to chilling, i wld always prefer clubbing. Don't get me wrong, i love to hang with my friends whenever i can, but its a mood now. I'm into the clubbing mood. Its a feel good thing when the music is blasting and u can drink and dance it up and you don't look outta place. Haa... of course, being silly to a certain extent nah. I've seen my fare share of ppl in the clubs with weird behaviour before. I mean, for guys wise, nothing out of ordinary that i haven seen before. It was tis one time i went rouge (2nd day of tis yr's CNY i think), there was tis gal, she wasn't there with friends frm the looks of it, and my god, she went ard the dance floor looking to meet other friends. but somehow, she seems to scare the guys off. Tis grp of guys beside my girlies n me, started tis hugging themselves in a grp when the gal comes ard. haa... that was one of the 'behaviours' that i've saw before. Weird, but memorable.

Anywaz. I'm really really having a headache now thinking what shd i do for my big 21. Chalet seems like the norm. Its a good thing, family and friends, but then again, its seems so, boring, in a way cuz too many ppl are doing it i guess. I wan something different, a place where my friends can have fun in drinking and enjoying and my family could have a fun get together. My family's bit fussy, haa esp my aunts, so hard to find a place where they won't feel weird. I've been thinking of chalets, but not the cramp ones in east coast but a big airy ones. The ones at Loyang, but then, its not that assesible. My colleague mentioned that NTUC at pasir ris has big ones. How How How?? I'm really having a headache. I think i'll use the chalet as a back up though.

Actually i had tis thought to book down some place at a club, but it ain't that cheap, totally unrealistic now. Perhaps in the future bah, Big 30th? That is provided i have cash to spare by then. Haa... My mom sugguested using aunty nancy's condo poolside. But that means restriction, cuz its residential. Haiz. Headache.

Money is the root of the problem. Root of my headache.



One thing that really sucks about my job is that the longer you're on it, the more tired you realise that you will become. Its really a toll on the body. So what if the money is good? It ain't that good aft a while. Comparitively, I realised that i had more fun when i was working in Esprit. Life was simpler at retails stores, no need to remember so much stuff.

But then again, I'm human, thus i always complain and wan to have the best of both worlds if i'm able to. I do contridict myself, in areas like tis, I can't help but wish that somethings can be incorporated into one another. For example, I definately love the salary amt now to the amt that i had then, but then again, i prefer the lighter load of work then to now.

Haiz, reality is i can't have it, but in dreamland i can. Haa.. But i know i won't dream of such stuff. My dreams are always weird actually, they always seem more like deja vu. It sometimes is scary that when it happens, I'm always afraid to realise that i've dreamed of something bad and to top it off, I always cannot remember my dreams, thus I've no way of preventing that 'something bad' frm happening. You know how guilty that can be? Haiz. Why does it have to be such a torture.

Anyway my dear friends, I know some of you will be wondering what happen to me in my previous 2 entries. I assure you, i'm fine now. Its wasn't easy to let go, but i had to make a decision to do so.

Oh, btw, click here to check out tis pic. Its on 31st Mar, 3rd page, 2nd pix. Haa.. I think i look horrible sia. Oh btw, if ya can surf ard, check out on the date 30th Mar, you will be able to see MARK ZEE and someone other female actress (offhand, i can't rem her name), oh ya and i saw my pri sch friend too!! hee...



Its time to end it.
Its been dragged it on long enough.
Its time to say goodbye.
Its enough.



When did things become so complicated?
When did simple loving become insufficent?
When did understanding become difficult?
When did asking you to just trust become so tough?
When did u start questioning me when u cannot even answer my questions?
When did things change?

Why couldn't things be simpler?
Why couldn't you believe?
Why couldn't you understand?
Why couldn't you let me be me?
Why couldn't you just?

We never made anything official.
We never said things would last.
We agreed to see how it goes.
We agreed take it step by step.

Why does our conversations goes back to it?
Time and time again.
Why do you have to bring it up?
After putting it down.
Why do you have to make me choose?
Even though i've explain before.

For you, i've taken so much.
For you, i've questioned time and time again.
For you, i've tried to defend.
For you, i've forgive.
For you, i've waited.
For you, i've cried.
For you, i've loved and love.
For you.

I'm hurt.
I'm angry.
I'm torn.
Do u know what you're doing to me?

life's a bitch, but embrace the bitch and you'll find it to be an angel
love it, don't abuse it

Desiree, aka Jenn or Jean.
coffee lover. spike me up with some peach martini & lychee daquri. secretly indulgences in hk drama serials. hearts pretty nails. absolute shoe whore.

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