_* Change Skin *_
- Wednesday, June 22, 2005 / 11:30 am.
Yeah!! I finally got down to changing my blog skin. Had a hard time finding a nice one though, nowadays most skins have tis and that and the diary page is so small! Not my type.
Its finally dawn. My last day at work. Haiz, how do i feel? Relieved actually. A small part of me will miss my work life, the people there most importantly. But i guess its finally time for me to move on to my studies. How do i feel bout 'moving' to bris? actually i think the 'kick' has not made its hit on me yet, i still don't feel anything, no excitment, still not feeling that sad bout leavin yet. I donno, guess i think it will only come like 4-5days before my departure then. When i start meeting up with ppl and getting their questions etc.
But then again, just 2-3nights ago, i found myself crying to sleep, think thoughts just then, lying on my bed started to hit me on what i will be missing out here. My family, my friends, enviroment, the safeness that i've always had. Its hard to let go. I'm scared that when i return, things changed, ppl changed, so much that i will find it hard to connect to again. I've always had the comfort of the bond with my babes. Think throughout our friendship, i'm the first thats gg away for tis long a period, i'm afraid when i return, will things be like it different. Sometimes i really wonder. I know, its foolish of me to think so negatively, but i just can't help it, its my nature to think of the bad before thinking postive. Its a comfort zone that i'm in now that i find hard to let go.
I'm leaving a life of partying behind for almost 5mths. For a person who clubs almost every week, tis routine will be hard to kick. Jo & Faith, how?? U darlings club with me every week, know my pattern, how to stop it?
Another big factor is money. I've been working since 17, always had the comfort of buying whatever i wan without having to put much thought into it. Somehow, at the back of my mind, i always know that even if i run outta cash, i can rely on my parents for some to tie me over. Monthly dispensable income of more than $1K, how am i gonna tie myself down? I'm never the person to count my pennies, and i havta curb that spending of mine within a mth's time. Its gonna be hell for me for tis mth to come.
Haiz, don't think so much, time for me to enjoy, to party the weeks ahead. Tonite, darlings, we're gonna party hard!