_* Leaving hard *_
- Monday, February 13, 2006 / 3:43 am.
Staring at my com for a long while. I've so many thoughts in my mind i don't know where to start. Flashes of memories zipped through my brain as i recalled the past. Tears spill down as i remember the ache, remember the pain and remember the misery. I've put up a strong front for as long as i know, only the few has heard me break down before. After pushing away for those few weeks, i finally caved in. Why? I don't know. Perhaps at the back of my mind, no matter how much i told myself that it has been tried, tested and failed, I still hold on to a hope that each time it will be better. Am i addicted to the pain? Perhaps i am. Or perhaps some part of me doesn't really wanna let him go. I know that i need to him to talk to when my life becomes a solitude again. Its almost 2 fucking years since then. Time flies by so fast that i didn't even noticed. I've created a hole for myself and for now, i just wanna crawl in and cry. Numb thyself.