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_* Birthday wishlist? *_

- Monday, April 03, 2006 / 10:03 pm.

Been thinking bout my upcoming birthday. 21 really flew past me in a flash, and majority of the time, i wasn't even in sg to spend that significant 1 yr. Anyhow so, its nearing 2mths to my 22nd birthday. And boy, its sure gonna be a pathetic one, cuz it falls on during my Study Week! Just right before exams. Never once, have i had to work or study unwillingly during my birthday. And man, does it suck ever, to know that there will be no celebrations this year, that the ppl i love will not be ard me during this day.

So anyhow, i've kinda thought what i wanted for my birthday this year. I'm not asking for any material gifts. No, those things, no longer held any great significance for me. What i want, is just to have ppl call or sms wishing me will do. Thats enough to show that at least i'm being thought of, on my birthday even when i'm not ard. Of course, i'll choose phone conversations over sms cuz its a more sincere thought, but sms(s) are still fantastic.

I would of course, be happier recieving cards, that, puts a greater meaning to it. At least i know u've put thru the time and effort to send me. But, this yr, for some reason, i think recieving flowers will be the best thing. In a way, it holds a greater meaning, and flowers i can preserve. Perhaps, its becuz i remembered feeling a tinge of jealously when i saw Adele recieving flowers from her friends last yr when she was here too, perhaps, i wanna know how does that feel, cuz i've never felt it before. But for Adele, it was an element of surprise that got her so touched. Me, mentioning it here, well, i doubt so will hold a greater surprise than hers, cuz, i know what to expect shd it come. Just like what i told lav last sem, i no longer felt that it was a surprise. I've recieved it eventually, but it no longer held the meaning that it shd have held. Instead, it felt old and in some sense lost a significant amt of touch that it shd have held.

But somehow, i always prepare myself for the disappointment, cuz i know it will surely happen. Ppl whom i expect to put in more time and effort usually end up not doing anything or belating it by a few weeks, and ppl whom i usually don't expect, will send me a quick sms. For those that i don't usually expect to remember, they make me smile. But i think this year, i've got to learn not to put any high hopes in ppl. If they forget, well they forget. There's really nothing much i can do, can i? I can't possibly send them a msg asking why they nv wish me on my birthday.

Well, i've said what i can, the rest is up to u to surprise me. Smtimes i wonder, why do i always put so much effort in other's bdays and making sure all grounds are covered so they don't feel that smthing was left out that make them sad, when on my part, i know the feeling won't be reprociated.

So for this year, DON'T ask me what i want, cuz i've said what i can. What i wan is an element of surprise to touch me and that allows me to smile and keep the memory for as long as i can remember.

ps: since i've want an element of surprise, just in case, u are sending something, i'll give u my address now, so i don't get asked for it and end up expecting for something, that might eventually not arrive.

Desiree Chia
178 Hawken Drive
St Lucia
Queensland 4067
Australia